5 Connections, 5 Insights: 66-70 of 100

Project Horizon is a global conversation experiment by executive coach and high-performance consultant Dr Tim Dutton. It aims to uncover diverse human perspectives by connecting with 100 remarkable people worldwide, linked through six referral-based chains.

ON THE GO? LISTEN TO THE INSIGHTS 🎧

66. Former musician turned scriptwriter

67. An Indian economics student with a big idea

68. A Podcaster celebrating others’ success

69. Filmmaker and Arsenal fan

70. Gym owner in Montana, USA

Connection 66 used to be in a music band that performed on stage in front of thousands of people.

After he told me he’d grown up as a shy person, I wondered ‘what had led him down such a path?’ And ‘what was his experience like?’

First came the influence of his twin brother. He told me: “Being a twin is a great secret privilege in my life. He’s a bit more outgoing and confident than me, and would lead me into different worlds. He’d make friends before me and then introduce me to people.”

Next, he had another privilege of attending a school which had a really creative music teacher. The teacher specialised in teaching the students jazz and “created a world of jazz musicians with the students”.  Connection 66 told me, “We’d come together and be jamming – playing in groups quite freely – and then from that, the world of bands emerged”.

From then on, he played music with friends regularly. But it wasn’t until after studying English at university that he started the band with his brother, which went on to be widely successful. He and his brother took a post-university gap year to try to make the band work with a couple of other good friends. One of those friends was a producer who gave them some music to record and release. Before the end of the year, they’d recorded and released some songs which had gained some traction online. People had started blogging about their music, and managers started calling them. It started to become real for them.

They released two studio albums, toured with Florence + The Machine and played the famous Reading and Leeds Festival in 2012.

So, naturally, I asked him the lazy question that I couldn’t resist: “What’s it like to play on stage in front of thousands of people?”

His first response didn’t surprise me too much: “Well, I’m not a naturally extroverted performer, so it was quite scary being on stage. I was sort of having to be a ‘version’ of myself – energetic and outgoing – that made me feel a little untrue.”

I wasn’t expecting what he said next, though: “I will have moments where I think ‘wow this is terrific’, but then at other times I’ll be very much in my own head. I specifically remember singing on stage in front of thousands of people at Latitude Festival, and thinking ‘what would it be like to be a lawyer?’”

It was fascinating to hear the musician’s experience of something I’ve only ever been an observer of. And to hear that his mind drifted in and out of being ‘present’ whilst on stage reminded me that he’s just another human (doing something really cool).

Connection 67 was a 20-year-old Indian guy – originally from New Delhi – studying mathematics and economics at New York University.

I’ve spoken to a number of students in this project, and it’s pretty common that we end up discussing what they’d like to do in the future. The answer this time involved returning to India and starting a business. I won’t tell you his idea, as I want him to have his shot at his millions. But the ‘problem’ he was trying to solve really interested me.

He told me that over 90% of India’s workforce is considered “informal workers”. This means that the vast majority of people in India don’t have any sort of contract of employment.

“So how are these people getting recruited?” he asked me. It was a setup. He knew the answer. He’d done his research.

Back in New Delhi, he lives in a place called Dwarka. In Dwarka, there are 30 sectors. Each sector has a big market. Each market has at least 15-20 shops. And each shop has six to seven people working for it. The numbers add up quickly.

Jobs like this are typically filled in two different ways.

The first is via the pretty universal word-of-mouth method: “I know a cook, he’s good, and he wants a job.” Sorted.

The second is through ‘Labour Chowks’, which is something I’d never heard of. At 5 am each morning, hundreds of people will meet at a particular crossroads and just sit there. Someone called a ‘thekedar’ manages the group of people. When an employer needs labour for particular jobs, they’ll turn up to the Labour Chowk, speak with the thekedar and say something like “I need a cook, a cleaner and a builder”. The workers who have been fortunate to gain work will then be given a slip of paper with an address and a time.

Fascinated by how different this sounded to the UK, I read a little more online. India has over 300,000 of these locations where people turn up to try and get work every day. The high competition for work also means employers can pay low wages.

Connection 67’s plan is to help solve this enormous inefficiency and hand back a dash of dignity to those seeking work.

If it works, I’m sure it’ll be nice and profitable. But he’ll also have had a cool social impact, too. They can coexist.

‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ is a phenomenon I wrote about after Connection 47.

20 connections later, I connected with a woman who hosts a podcast which leans into the idea. It’s called ‘Tall Poppy Talk’ if you fancy giving it a listen.

The podcast was born out of an attempt to redefine herself. She had moved from New Zealand to the US for college. Whilst at college, her boyfriend was a rower and thought she’d try to row herself to see what it was like. She loved it, and rowing quickly became a passion and part of her identity. But, as college came to an end, so did the rowing, and she was left searching for the answer to ‘what next?’.

“I had nothing to talk about anymore”, she told me.

In searching for her next ‘thing’, she began to notice herself feeling a resistance to trying certain things. A resistance rooted in not wanting to be seen as ‘trying too hard’ or standing out. And this is when she became more aware of ‘tall poppy syndrome’. The social phenomenon whereby people tend to get chopped down by others when they try to become ‘something more’.

With this very human experience in mind, and being curious about how high-performers cope with the pressures of their pursuits, she began her podcast. Her goal is to ‘grow more tall poppies’ by changing the conversation around success. She wants to celebrate people’s achievements as opposed to weaponising them.

Personally, I feel a resistance to sharing my writing in public for fear of ‘being chopped down’. So, I’m grateful for this conversation and for feeling a little freer to be a tall poppy!

Before we spoke about identity, the filmmaking industry, foster care, AI, or being stabbed nine times (!), we spoke about football. Specifically, Arsenal Football Club.

The scarf hanging over the wardrobe door gave it away.

“Not Arsenal”, I said, in the same fashion a primary school girl might say “Ew, boys have cooties!”

“Friend or foe?” Connection 69 asked me. “Foe”. I’m a Manchester United man. (Don’t ask me if I’m from Manchester. It’s not relevant.)

We chewed on late 2000’s football nostalgia. He’d grown up near Highbury – Arsenal’s old stadium – so that was a special place for him. I presented him a selection of some of Arsenal’s worst players from the last few decades and asked him to pick a favourite. I told him how great it was to be at Old Trafford back in 2011 when Man Utd beat Arsenal 8-2. As you can tell, it was a pretty high-brow, hard-hitting section of the conversation.

What was special about this light-hearted exchange, though, was that we connected over common ground. A shared interest in and passion for football.

A few times recently, when I’ve had to beg my fiancé to let me put the football on, I’ve tried (tongue-in-cheek) to frame it as a ‘religious experience’. Large groups of people engage in a ritual by congregating in the same place at a particular time. People wear particular outfits (shirts, scarves), and symbols (badges) are an important part. Songs are sung in unison, and idols (favourite players) are looked up to. It becomes part of many people’s identity: “I’m an Arsenal man”. You’re part of a tribe. And switching tribes would be unthinkable.

I was reminded during the conversation of how important football – and more generally sport – is for human connection.

Connection 70 – a gym owner in Montana, USA – had come to an enlightened realisation after years of building his business.

The journey started during his high school years. He used to visit Bozeman, Montana, to go skiing with his friends. In the winter, Bozeman is perfect for winter sports. In the summer, it’s great for hiking and mountain biking. He fell in love with Bozeman and, after finishing college and working under a few esteemed athletic development coaches, decided to set up a gym there. His goal was to create a gym which supported people who were passionate about skiing, snowboarding, mountain biking and hiking. He supports them with the strength and conditioning work that helps keep them injury-free and on the mountain doing what they love.

Alongside a boatload of hard work, he had some good fortune. Bozeman became one of the most fashionable places to live and vacation in the US. Of course, this was good for business.

Nowadays, he has half a dozen staff working full-time at the gym, and he feels he’s finally able to go away on vacation. In 2024, he went away for five weeks – the longest he’s been away from his business since he started it. Understandably, it was his wife who was most keen that he take a break so that they could get away together.

For most business owners, their business is their baby. They feel that if they leave it for even a short time, it’ll fall apart. Connection 70 seems to have worked hard to accept this as a ‘limiting belief’. When I asked him how he manages to switch off and enjoy his vacation, he said, “I’ve built it once… I can build it again.”

I guess it’s one of those unteachable lessons you have to learn at your own pace.

These five conversations showed me that even performers on stage experience their minds drifting, that you can make money and do good for the world at the same time, and that I should care less about what others think of my striving. They also reminded me that sport can bind society together, and that things won’t always fall apart if you take a holiday!

Next time: connections 71-75.